I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
