Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
