he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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