White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
