In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All the doctor said was why
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize