Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
