His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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