i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
