Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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