I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
how drunk are you?
Several
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
