we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
