If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
