I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
