Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My life is pants optional.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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