Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
