ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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