I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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