Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
