Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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