I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
