Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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