i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
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Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
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Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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