i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize