All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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