That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize