yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
