I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
