She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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