Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you win again, gameday.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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