You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
