May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
