I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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