I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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