I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
