Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
