You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
