Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i out mim tonsoeep
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