i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
