so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
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We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
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I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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