You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
