Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
