i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
