how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
worst night to have a conscience
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
