you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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