Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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