The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
