Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
