Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
