When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
