but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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