So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize