I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
