he puts the penis in happiness.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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