idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't turn off my feet"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
