And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
