fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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