Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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