i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
