"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
