He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
