I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
